The other day someone asked me, "In all the years you've been researching
creativity and productivity, what are the top tips and techniques that you
use yourself and that have stood the test of time?" That struck me as a great
theme for this month's bulletin, so here are my answers.
5: Positives, Potential, and Concerns
This is a great way to communicate when you're part of a team or giving
feedback to one person.
Whatever you're discussing, you start with the positives, the things you
find good about the idea. Then you talk briefly about its potential, that is, in
what ways it could be something really special. Only then do you voice your
concerns, and in a particular way: as problems that can be solved. For
example, rather than saying, "There's no way we can get this done in time," you might say, "Let's talk about what resources we'd need in order to get this done in time, and how we can get them." You will find that meetings that might otherwise have been confrontational, with everybody defending their own viewpoint, become much more constructive.
Action: Try this the next time you have a meeting in which someone's ideas
are being discussed. You may also want to try it in a personal context--for
example, when trying to get your children to behave differently. You'd
acknowledge what's right about their current behaviour, what potential benefits a change would bring, and then figure out together how the new behaviour could be
brought about.
4: The What Will You See and Hear Strategy for Reaching Goals
This approach to reaching goals makes the process much easier. You start
with the outcome you want. It can be something tangible (e.g., "To Make 50% more
money from my writing") or less tangible ("To feel less stressed"). You then take a few minutes to daydream about what things will be like when the problem
has been solved, and you specify what you will see and what you will hear at that point.
For example, when I feel less stressed: I will see myself moving in a calmer manner; I will see myself taking breaks at least twice a day; I will hear my voice sounding calm; I will see my desktop empty other than for the materials I need for the thing I'm working on at that moment," and so on.
The next step is to take each of these things and brainstorm how you can
bring them about. For example, for the breaks, going outside with the
smokers when they take a break but instead of smoking, taking a walk around the block.
For sounding calm, taking a deep breath before you speak.
You then start making these little changes, starting with the easiest ones, and at some point you will reach a critical mass of changes and the problem
will have been solved.
Action: What is one change you'd like to make? Take a few minutes to write
out what you'll see and hear when it's solved, and make one tiny change
today. (By the way, sometimes it's helpful to get a colleague, friend or partner
help you come up with ideas for what you'll see and hear.)
3: Secret Reminders
When you're trying to change some habit, often the hardest part is just
remembering to do it. A lot of self-help books suggest that you put up
sticky notes all over the place with a reminder written on them, but I find that a bit
embarrassing because other people can see them. Instead, you can create a
code for yourself and use it for visible but secret reminders.
For example, let's say you're trying to remember to improve your posture.
Get a sheet of those sticky little dots (they come in various colours) and put
one wherever you're likely to see it. You might stick one on your can of
shaving foam or your jar of moisturizer, or on your toothpaste tube, another on your
wallet, and so on. After a while you'll get used to seeing them, so you may
need to change colours or otherwise vary the signals so they continue to
work.
Action: Is there a habit you'd like to change? If it's specific to one
location or action, you can put the secret signal in just one appropriate
place. For example, if you're trying to cut down on long phone calls, put the coloured
dot on your telephone.
2: The "What's In It for Them" Approach
This approach is the key to getting people to do what you want them to do.
Simply consider ahead of time what's in it for them, and make that benefit
clear to them.
We all get so hung up on what we want, or what makes us
special, that we forget the number one question people have in their minds all the
time: "What's in it for me?" That's true whether we're pitching a project to a
potential client, trying to get a child to go to bed, or trying to attract
Mr or Ms Right. If you keep this in mind and apply it, it can transform you
communications overnight!
Action: The next time you want to get someone to do something, consciously
think about what's in it for them, and spell that out for them when you make your request or give your instruction. A good indicator that you're actually doing this is that the word "you" will come up more often than the word "I". Try doing this for a whole day (or better yet, a whole week) and notice the difference.
1: The Do Something Different Strategy
Here, in the top position, is the single most important strategy I've ever
come across, and also the most neglected. It's simple: If what you're doing
isn't working, do something different! Just think for a moment about how
this could revolutionise the world if it were applied in the Middle East, for
example, where both sides are stuck in repetitive and unsuccessful patterns.
Similarly, whatever you thought about the justness of the war on Iraq, it has clearly
not yielded the desired outcome. Will we learn from that to do something
different?
Action: Identify one part of your life where you'd like to make a change but find yourself doing the same thing over and over again. It could relate to
dieting, trying to get someone to do something your way, changing one of
your own habits, or anything else. Brainstorm at least 3 different ways you could
tackle that challenge, and try the one that seems most likely to work. If it doesn't, try the next one, until you find one that works.
And last but not least, a little story to think about: A Native American
grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt about a tragedy.
He said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One is the
vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one." The
grandson asked him, "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?" The
grandfather answered, "The one I feed."
