With more and more employees looking to their employers for mental health support, it is becoming more important than ever that workplaces provide these avenues. This is particularly crucial for men, a demographic for whom stigma persists.
Increased awareness and transparency from a business perspective around where the challenges for male employees lie can go a long way toward improving well-being. We know that men find it hardest to reach out for support for their mental health, as stigma around men's well-being and the tendency to just ‘man up and get on with it’ continue to act as barriers to men feeling able to get support.
This problem can then be exacerbated for men in management or leadership roles, where the pressure to perform to a high level and set standards for others can create a pressure to be seen as strong and stable.
Mental health issues are still being seen as a weakness, so when men are expected to lead they feel that any show of vulnerability will be a detriment to their reputation as leaders. Interestingly, when managers are open about their own struggles, we are more likely to find that team members respond positively to this. They see them as more human and more approachable with their own concerns and stresses.
Addressing the reluctance to access help
Studies have shown that men consistently rank worse than women when it comes to accessing support for their wellbeing, so having a range of support mechanisms in place is vital to getting more men to reach out for help.
Many men might have a negative perception of counselling and therapy that makes it harder for them to access professional support. However, if they have a line manager who they know has some understanding of mental health and well-being, they’re more likely to speak to them than they might a counsellor or therapist.
Of course, this is only helpful if the manager is trained and supported in their role, and even a half-day mental health awareness training session can make a lot of difference to how confident a manager feels to support an employee.
Work may not be the problem, but it can provide the solution
It isn’t just work-related issues that men might find hard to discuss, issues at home can be just as challenging to address.
Many men have been raised with the idea that they have to be providers for their family – not necessarily in the financial sense, although that can still be the case for some – but more in regards to being the strong one of the family, the one who holds it together when things are tough, the one who provides stability. For example, when a family experiences a bereavement, many men feel it is up to them to hold in their emotions and be there for their partner or children. This can leave them without an outlet for their feelings at home, which often means they’re bringing that emotion into work.
While we can’t influence the role someone is playing at home, we can as managers provide support and a safe space inside work for them to discuss this. Allowing them opportunities to speak about what they’re going through away from their home environment helps to combat the stigma around seeking help, giving them a space they may not have elsewhere.
Whilst this might feel like we’re going above and beyond to support someone whose challenges are happening outside the workplace, we need to remember that home and work do not exist in isolation of each other – what is happening at home will inevitably impact on the employee in the workplace.
Seeing past ‘masking behaviours’
Part of the challenge for managers responding to men’s mental health is the masking that often goes on, particularly around anger. For men who have been raised on messages of ‘boys don’t cry’ and ‘being scared is for girls’ (phrases that manage to dismiss both boys and girls), emotions like fear, upset and hurt quickly become emotions that have to be hidden.
However, anger is an emotion that is often acceptable in boys - in fact, when it comes to things like sports, we prize a bit of competitive aggression. That means that anxiety and hurt are often covered up by anger. This makes it hard to know what’s really going on for a team member, and leaves a manager walking a difficult line between holding boundaries and policy around behaviours, and wanting to best support their colleague.
Having the skills to recognise masking behaviours, and to be able to talk to someone with empathy, compassion and understanding, can break down some of these masking behaviours, enabling managers to better deal with the underlying issue and support their employee.
