As a leader, you know that giving feedback is critical to your team, whether they are remote or in-office. Positive feedback, corrective feedback, atta-boy/girls are all critical. We also know that it’s harder to do effectively when you are in a different physical space than your team. Imagine how much more difficult it is to get the feedback WE need as leaders.
Yes, we need feedback as well. Never mind our egos that scream for positive reinforcement (I ran the heck out of that meeting, didn’t I?) We don’t know if we are getting our message across, supporting people with what they need, or building (or eroding) trust unless there is a feedback loop of some kind.
As we pointed out in our book, The Long-Distance Leader, Revised Rules for Remarkable Remote and Hybrid Leadership, there are two problems with trying to get feedback as the leader:
- We often don’t ask for it, or think about who it should come from.
- People who “answer to us,” don’t usually feel empowered to give feedback, especially if it’s unflattering. Even if we ask nicely for their thoughts, the notion that you can fire them is always lurking in the back of their mind.
So how can we get the feedback necessary to do a good job without seeming needy or setting up a stressful situation with our team members?
Start with existing evidence. Before seeking input from people, take a good, honest look at the situation yourself. How do you feel about it? What evidence supports your opinion (good or bad?) Have people indicated there may be an issue that needs addressing? Examine your own actions and attitudes. That way you can be more neutral in receiving information that may not support your ideas or put you on the defensive.
Identify people you trust. Not everyone is going to give you equally valid feedback, even when you ask for it. Developing a network of people you trust to be honest and proactive in offering you positive and negative reinforcement is critical.
Trusted advisors can come from any part of the organization. You want people who care about you and your success, people with greater technical expertise than you have, and anyone with first-hand information that you may not possess or have access to. Your team has people on it who understand what’s really happening on the ground and what the team says about themselves. Be careful with this last point. You are looking for a trusted source of information, not a police informant.
Ask open-ended questions. You are looking for honest, constructive feedback so you can keep doing what works, and perhaps alter your behavior if needed. Simple yes/no questions aren’t great for getting those results. “Do you think this will work?” is likely to tell you what you want to hear. “What haven’t I thought of?” or “Based on what you know, what other information should I have?” Especially if you have a trusting relationship with the other person, you’re more likely to get actionable, candid answers without making them feel like they are being interrogated.
Shut up. Didn’t see that one coming, did you? But if you seek input, you need to be willing to listen to it and assess it after the fact. If you want to be a better receiver of feedback, people need to know you’re going to listen and judge it fairly without repercussions to them. A couple of things to consider:
- Let them speak first. If you start with, “here’s what I think…” you’ve already told people what you expect to hear from them. Ask them for their input first.
- Ask clarifying questions. People don’t always tell you what they’re thinking the first time. They might be afraid you’ll react negatively, get your feelings hurt, or think badly of them. Drill down on what you’re told to get very specific examples, or to give them the chance to expand on their initial thoughts.
- Evaluate and process the information fairly. Receiving feedback, especially if it’s bad news or counter to our expectations, may create more stress than necessary. Listen objectively to what you hear. It may help to use the PIN technique: Start with the positive aspects of what you heard, identify what’s interesting: unexpected or might need clarification. Then go to the negative reaction. By starting with the positive first, you are less likely to leap to being defensive and give the feedback a fair hearing.
On a remote or hybrid team, feedback may come by webcam, voice, or a single line in a chat message. That’s fine, just make sure that the more explanation, clarification is needed, or potential for miscommunication exists, the richer communication is required. Webcams may be better than text for some of this.
A lot of this you are already doing when offering feedback to others. It’s not only fair, it’s imperative that we get feedback as well.
