Help! I work for a tyrant

2007

I work for a sociopath. He is entertaining, persuasive, an expert in all areas, but he is also arrogant, domineering, a manipulator, a liar, and operates on paranoia.

His agenda is self-serving yet his position is the general manager. He has one personal confidant for all company decisions. This one individual is a young, inexperienced and an attractive women. She also has one agenda and that is to move to the top at all cost.

Between them, they have terminated about a dozen employees who have challenged their plans to run the show as a team of two despite the consequences.

Most of the employees have been with the company for many years and have a lot to contribute. Yet their concerns or input are not only dismissed they are taken as a threat or insult to the general manager. He will actually say, I am the General Manager and you are my subordinate.

His paranoia absorbs most of his time as he listen in on telephone calls and reviews emails or watch employees activities in the office. The other part of the time is spent behind closed doors with the young female confidant. It is believed they spend the time collaborating how to terminate their next victim.

The working conditions are not acceptable yet many of us have worked together for years and formed friendships. We also work for a company with goods benefits and a decent salary. That is very hard to replace.

What are the safest options for us to stop the bullying without being terminated? The last few who complained managed to bring some attention to Human Resources, however, the hired a coach who worked with the GM, befriended him, and basically told the employees we need to give him a chance. However, the GM shifted to revenge mode as soon as the coach left.

What do we do?

Ellen, Boston

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Dan Bobinski's Answer:

Unfortunately, this is one of the most frustrating scenarios found in the workplace.

At first glance, you have three options:

1. Remain with the status quo.. Lay low, absorb the pain, and remain uncomfortable.

2. Go over his head. He's the general manager, not the CEO. In other words, he reports to somebody. Perhaps pressure could be brought to bear from above.

Caution: I don't recommend either of these first two options. I recommend option three:

3. Rethink your HR strategy. When HR brought in the coach, they did what they thought was right. Unfortunately, you're still experiencing the problem! So first things first: Document-document-document. The hardest part of this is staying totally objective, writing only what you observe, not what you interpret.

Also, make sure you document specifics. Laura Crawshaw, in her book Taming the Abrasive Manager, says this is a vital starting point.

I believe Crawshaw to be the best authority out there on dealing with abrasive managers, so if she says to document specifics, that's what you should do.

You say he listens in on telephone calls - this is too general. What calls does he listen in on and when does he do it? You say he's a manipulating liar. How? What happened?

Identify the specific behaviors of each incident. Example: "He raised his voice" instead of "he got upset."

By the way, I highly recommend Crawshaw's book. You might also get one for your HR department. Then they'll understand what you're dealing with and have a better understanding of what they can(and should)do.

Here's the key. Maintain professionalism and squelch all emotional display
Once the specifics have been collected, arrange them in an formal document, not just a collection of notes. Then, those who feel this man's behaviors are unacceptable should act as one and go see HR.

Here's the key: The group must maintain professionalism and squelch all emotional display. They must show total concern for the company's well-being, and above all, they must NOT threaten HR. Think of it as a low-key mass mutiny.

Start by saying how committed you are to the company's vision and mission, and emphasize that you all like working there – that you want to help the company reach its goals.

Be sure to thank HR for their effort of bringing in the coach, but then present your observations (remember, no emotional dialog!) I can't emphasize how important it is not to draw inferences or interpret the GM's behavior. It's imperative you remain factual and objective.

Re-emphasize that you like working there, and you believe the GM wants the company to succeed, too. But add that his behaviors are no longer tolerable; that it's becoming a hostile work environment.

Also state that some of the people who brought complaints before have been fired, and that you're very afraid there's going to be similar retaliation (do not use the word 'revenge').

If it's true, you should add that you're heard others express concern about retaliation – that people are afraid – and that you don't want any retaliation for bringing these concerns to HR.

In short, don't demand or threaten. You create the best chances for change if, as a group, you express your loyalty to the company, provide specific examples of intolerable behavior, and state that you're afraid of retaliation for doing so.

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About our Expert

Dan Bobinski
Dan Bobinski

Daniel Bobinski teaches teams and individuals how to use emotional intelligence and how to create high impact training. He’s also a best-selling author, a popular speaker, and he loves helping teams and individuals achieve workplace excellence