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It's been a season of loss: first my dear friend Linda, one of the most vibrant, always-curious people I've ever known and who had the right to expect another couple of decades on this earth, and then my mother, who had a very long and eventful life and for whom passing on was a release.
Of course our loved ones live on in our hearts and maybe the best way we can honor them is to remember to live every day of our own lives as fully as we can. I hope the following ideas will help you do that.
Similarly, in my "Create Your Future" workshops, participants found they felt much more empowered when they thought of a challenge as a "hero's journey" rather than just as something to cope with.
Changing what we call things in a way that allows us to experience them in a different way often is called "reframing," and it's a powerful technique.
ACTION: What language are you using to describe the challenges and events in your life? Take a moment to consider how you could reframe them in a way that adds perspective and encourages you to move forward.
They involved a group of 84 hotel workers. Half of them were told that their work of cleaning hotel rooms is good exercise and satisfies the Surgeon General's recommendations for an active lifestyle. The other half were not told anything.
One month later, the control group had not changed but the other group had decreased their weight, blood pressure, body fat, waist-to-hip ratio, and body mass index.
It's not clear what mechanism is at work here: Did they do their work with more gusto, thereby burning more calories? It's hard to imagine that this would make that much difference. Is it a purely mental process - believing that they were exercising created the effects of exercise?
ACTION: Even if we can't explain this effect, we can use it. Again, it's really an exercise in reframing. What are you doing that could be considered exercise? Start thinking of it that way. What are you doing every day that could be considered creative and fulfilling? What will happen if you start thinking of it that way?
ACTION: If you are facing a challenge, try giving it a name and an image. Notice how this may change your feelings about it. Work out a strategy for defeating or, better yet, transforming it. It may help to also create a name and image for the way you want things to be, and then to consider what you need to do to change your current situation in order to effect that transformation.
ACTION: If there are any memories that bother you or to which you return too often, put them into perspective. What did you learn from those experiences that helped you afterward? Make a mental image of them and shrink them to same size as more positive memories.
Booklist summarized it this way: "moderately disorganized people and businesses seem to be more efficient, more robust, and more creative than the obsessively neat.
As examples, the authors cite a hardware store crammed to the gills with every sort of product in seemingly disorganized fashion that does twice the business of the 'neat' one down the block; a grade school where the students are allowed random access to learning materials with no structured lessons, and no discipline problems; and the seemingly chaotic life of Arnold Schwarzenegger, who refuses to make appointments and sees everyone on the fly."
ACTION: If you're messy and cluttery, like me, start by reframing it. We are eccentric free spirits who enjoy spontaneity! (Wearing a beret is optional.) Instead of trying to transform yourself into a neatnik beholden to long lists of things to do, just make one simple list every day, containing only the three highest-priority items that you know you can complete that day.
If you have time left over (and if you're doing the list right, most days you should), choose to do whatever takes your fancy.
Jurgen Wolff is a writer, teacher, and hypnotherapist. His goal is to help individuals liberate their own creativity through specific techniques that can be used at work as well as at home.
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